Approachable Satan Does NYC


My friend Alex has some of the best locations, most enviable clientele and one of the coolest wifes


We have a lot of distance and water between us and often only meet up when Do More humans are doing things.

Recently that was in New York.

Previously, Alex had remarked that given the nature of our interactions, there likely hadn’t been a time in which we had been in the same room and my ass was not entirely out at some point or another.

He’s not wrong.

So this time we decided to keep all asses in and go visit their homeland instead - Coney Island.

Though I did take my tits out in the subway station…


New York was an interesting experience for me. It is a city I have always avoided because of my anxiety, and once I was in was immediately mad at myself for ever standing in my own way.


Yes, sometimes you have to honour your body and your mental state and know your limits.
MOST OF THE TIME, your brain is being a little bitch and your body is just listening.
MOST OF THE TIME, you can get over both.
But you have to work on it. Want it. And earn it.


I can’t tell you how many times I’ve failed to leave the house.
Or left the house, got 85% of the way to my destination, but failed to arrive.
Just because you know something doesn’t mean you can always practice it.

But things have been in a better place since I started drinking clay and buttchugging coffee.

FACT: If you are eating shit, you are making your mental state shit.
FACT: If you are not moving your limbs because they hurt, they will hurt more.
FACT: If you are telling yourself bullshit, you will believe bullshit.
FACT: If you believe you can’t, you won’t.
FACT: If you shut the fuck up and try, even if you cry, you’ll probably surprise yourself.

I have always thought Alex looked like the Satan you’d see in sitcoms. I said this to his face and we still speak, so I assume he’s fine with that comparison.

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We had several ideas as to how Satan would conduct himself at Coney Island.


However as it was 99% closed, this is the “Satan doesn’t google and gets drunk at an abandoned carnival after an hour train ride” version of that concept.


The next instalment of this series will be Approachable Satan on Freemont Street.
Coming March 2020


Taylor Oakes