I'm going to try real hard and human for a minute.
It's interesting that when I wrote this and shot these , it felt like a bandaid-rip.
Do it once, quickly and then that's it.
But maybe that's just a cliché we've created to cope. Because that method doesn't work for much and the term "bandaid solution" has to mean more. And I've definitely spent a lot of time pacing over the last few days so I guess we're here again.
And that kinda sucks a bag of dicks.
Go here. Your discomfort is not my fault. I'm paraphrasing, which means my brain didn't do it and therefore your judgement of it is only borrowed, not owned. Yeah...
Shit happens. Sometimes twice. Often more.
And that's okay.
And the people around me continue to remind me they will always step the fuck up when called upon.
I've had a constant stream of people entering (or re-entering) my life this year and I must say that each one continues to surprise me more than the last and manages to bring something new into my life that supports the weak, expands the strong, all the while impressively tolerating my sociopathic Napoleon complex.
And not all of us get to have that.
So I need to give credit where credit is due and remind the wonderful misfits of my life, old and new, that they're fucking rock stars. Like this one, who I continue to shove down everyones throat because she's worthy of it (and because she likes it).
And sometimes I get to give it back to them as well:
We're so programmed to assume and aspire for a life-long connection. A relationship with someone that is our "better half" - that we should be looking to someone else to complete ourselves. I believe it's what brings so many relationships to a screeching halt. Fuelled by bitterness and regret, longing for the person across from you to become the person you need them to be so that you can be your full self. In reality, we can't change anyone but ourselves. We can adapt and grow and learn, but who we are at the core is what sets us apart. And for someone that clearly holds onto your core and identity and loves and embraces that, compromise on that level is not an option. But it gives you a gift of awareness and the ability to see this light and drive in others and love it on a level not reachable by all. It gives you the ability to walk away from a relationship and not default to hate as a defence mechanism. I'm convinced that being able to step away with love and respect still deeply engrained and intact is more painful. But being able to let go at a time that allows for that to live means you respect and love the person across from you enough to leave them whole. And when people strive for growth and change, sometimes that means growing out of each other as well. For months, years or sometimes forever. You can only control your progression, no one elses. But the ability to leave doors open versus slam them shut on the way out is the difference between "not right" and "not right now". We don't go through life with one of anything else - we always need different for different stages. Different clothes, different friends, different careers. We change, so they change. And yet we've created this ideal that relationships are somehow a magical exception to the rule. And yet they are usually what fails first and brings us to our knees the hardest. - @tayloroakesproductions www.thestoreonqueen.com • NIA $45 wrap, tie up front cardigan (available in other colours). CATERINA $145 cloud shaped, Beaded mini skirt with sequin detailing.
Albeit with horrible grammar and sentence structure.
"Hey remember that 'be a human, not a sarcastic twat' effort?"
And right now I'm a part of this really cool thing with all these other really cool people. And one day soon I'm going to record my love of adjectives, alliteration & "and" - but about shooting women and empowerment and stuff while rocking the Skype Mullet; business on top, regret on the bottom.
And maybe that seems really backwards, but it's just reality. Can't be all good all the time. Sometimes to ourselves and sometimes to others. But somehow The Oatmeal manages to be nauseatingly prophetic
And since I'm feeling extra basic, lets tie up this first world problems package with a quote from a movie about other white people that created their own clusterfucks: